Tonight I’m going to sleep in a bittersweet mood.  Tonight I will think about how short life can be. Tonight I will think about how this beautiful girl should be celebrating her 20th birthday with me.  Tomorrow I will wake up angry, and unsatisfied with the world.  Tomorrow I will think about how a year ago I partied with this girl for her 19th birthday.  Tomorrow I will think about how everyone wants everyone else to be strong, and pretend everything is okay, because that’s how Susie would have wanted it.  But tonight I will not be strong, and tomorrow will be even worse.  Sometimes I am strong. Sometimes I don’t want to be.